Morgan Counseling Minute

Woe to Winter

2012-01-15T20:04:00.006-06:00

I've heard some people recently insisting they love winter. Given the mild winter we're having, I haven't put up much resistance to their optimism. But had I been asked my opinion, I would reply, "Winter sucks! The cold is paralyzing, the wind is harsh and biting, and walking in snow feels like moving in the shallow end of a swimming pool." Every year I become burdened with the heaviness of winter. Sometimes to the degree of seasonal depression, other times I'm blessed to only become a little down, apathetic, or discouraged. This year, likely because of its mildness, winter has only brought me down a little. I find myself feeling unmotivated, irritated, and largely stagnant. My heart longs for growth and renewal, yet the prospect of it becomes too exhausting to pursue.

A conversation with a colleague recently reminded me, one of the best techniques we have to treat depression. The idea that often, depression is simply helped by doing something. Anything. One of the most prevalent symptoms of depression is lack of motivation; not caring enough to force oneself to do something when we don't feel like it. When clients tell me, "Yes, Jennifer, that's a good idea. But when the time comes, I just don't feel like doing it." My response is usually, "That's OK. But I think it would help you to do it anyway." Inevitably, they will do it, even though they don't feel like it, and they will begin to feel better. Not because that particular action worked any kind of miracle, but because one thing leads to another. One positive action leads to another positive thought or action, which leads to another to another to another. When it comes to depression, doing something will almost always be better than doing nothing.

This is advice I could use when winter has me feeling stuck and stubborn. Rather than becoming paralyzed when life feels too dense to step into, I would like to remember that if I do something, anything, I will likely feel better about doing the next thing. One step at a time.

At the same time, I would like to advise myself to sink into winter. The cold, sometimes dark days, present good opportunities to curl up and watch a movie, or read a book. Whether I'm choosing to do this, or feel like its the only choice possible, I would like to allow myself to enjoy these moments. Because the Lord knows, summer will soon be here, and the heat and overwhelming busyness of the season will cause me to write a blog entitled, "Woe to Summer, Give Us Some Rain!"

CHANGE

2011-09-27T22:14:00.003-05:00

What is it about change, exactly, that sends us in shameless retreat, wishing we had never revealed our hopes or asked for anything more? When change intrudes at times we have not wished for more, our reaction is even worse...blaming others for the situation, cursing Adam and Eve, bargaining with God for the transition to end. What is it about change that causes paralysis in our hearts? How does change instill such fear that we no longer find perseverance, healthy risk, or sanctification virtuous enough to pursue?

The last two months have been prime time for me to explore these issues. Through the process of hiring my first employees and simultaneously upgrading office locations, I have been confronted with the reality of my heart in the midst of change. The truth is, that I have been looking for a desired result to indicate the rightness or wrongness of decisions I've been making. Rather than allowing myself to be immersed in the journey of each particular decision, I have been waiting for each thing to work out or fall apart to let me know I followed God well. I know that in living this way, I overlook much of the experience God is offering. Yet, I fall into the same rut with each decision.

If only I could view change as something more neutral, than bad. Change is necessary to get where I want to go. Change requires trust, patience, flexibility, openness...it also sometimes means not getting my way, disappointment, uncertainty, and chaos. None of those things seem life threatening, now that I think about it. But I'm afraid of them. I fear that God doesn't truly understand how important it is to have beauty in my office or absolute trust in my employees, which keeps me from relaxing into the journey. Does he really take into consideration that having office windows that open would make a big difference in my quality of life? Does it even occur to him that I would prefer to control my own thermostat? The thing is, He does. He thinks of every little detail I do, and a multitude of ones I do not. And not only does He think of them, he cares about them as much as I do, if not more. The difference between my view and His, is that He's looking at all His other children who are affected by the circumstances I'm dealing with. And he chooses to do what's best for all of His children, even when it means than some of them may feel disappointed.

Maybe if I remember that what seems like negative change to me, could really be quite positive for another one of His children, I might be more flexible when change arrives in the future. In the meantime, I'll keep reminding myself, "Breathe. Breathe. Breathe."

MCS is Moving!

2011-09-08T12:45:00.003-05:00

Dear Friends, Family, Clients & Colleagues,

It is with much anticipation and excitement, that I write to inform you of some exciting changes happening at Morgan Counseling Services LLC. For many years, I have dreamt of what Morgan Counseling Services would become, and recently I have taken the first steps in making that dream come true.

As of October 3, 2011, Morgan Counseling Services will be located in a new office suite at 11222 Tesson Ferry Rd, approximately one mile north of our current location. This new location provides several features I am excited to have, namely additional safety features, larger office space, and a more beautiful setting. Please click on this link to familiarize yourself with our new location.

Additionally, I am thrilled to introduce two employees at Morgan Counseling Services LLC; Lisa Hueckel M.A., PLPC, and Sandy Kallaos M.A.C., CIT. Lisa has been working toward her licensure under my supervision for more than three years, and Sandy is beginning her post-graduate hours toward earning her licensure. In addition to her role as counselor, Sandy will be acting as Administrative Coordinator for MCS. You may contact Sandy at 314.221.3773 or Sandy@morgancounselingservices.com for help with billing, scheduling, and other administrative issues.

We trust you will feel comfortable in our new space, and look forward to meeting you there.

Sincerely,

Jennifer Morgan

I Don't Have Time for God

2011-08-02T19:25:00.007-05:00

Although it may seem upon first glance, that I have forgotten about this blog, I have not. Remembering has been a thorn in my side since my last post in December. I want to write, I thoroughly enjoy writing. However, not a single post since the beginning of this blog has been my own writing. I have edited and compiled in a way that I hoped appeared to be blogging. Even if I fooled some of you, which is unlikely, I have not fooled myself. I just don't have time to do it as well I would like.

I have a relative who in the past, used the phrase "I don't have time," until it was broken down and useless in her vocabulary. When I heard it used I imagined rolling my eyes and shouting, "Get over it!" What I was thinking was that if she managed her time differently, prioritized better, or set better boundaries, she wouldn't have that problem. I never viewed lacking time as an actual, valid dilemma. I thought it was purely the result of poor choices.

To some extent I still believe this. It is our society that is to blame, for suggesting we put so much on our plates, in order to measure up to the "norm". If Americans valued humans as much as they do output, I don't think we'd be in the time dilemma we find ourselves. Recently I've been having problems with my computer and several days I've been without a computer at work. Those days have been the most relaxed, client-focused days I've had in years. It has caused me to contemplate intentionally leaving my computer at home once a week, or some other manner of regularly releasing myself from the chains of technology. Doing so allows me time to do things I normally tell myself I don't have time to do, like updating the year stickers on my charts, and organizing my office. When I'm really taking care of myself I'll read or pray or reflect.

The realization I've had over the last 6 months, is that no matter how well one manages his or her time, there are still times when there just isn't enough time. I've tried to explain with logic and evidence, why my life suddenly got so busy and still fail to understand what happened exactly. All I know is that beginning January of 2011, I have been so busy, I don't have time. I don't have time for friends, I don't have time to clean, I don't have time to think (which I really miss). Sometimes I don't have time to shower. And there is no better way to rearrange my day that will solve my lack of time dilemma. There is nothing I feel comfortable cutting out of my life. There is no way to prioritize better or use better boundaries to protect my time, and still honor myself and others the way I feel is important.

The worst part is that during this season of being flat out of time, I find myself going to bed every night, apologizing to God for not having spent more time with him. Not having spent any time with him. I've been reminded by friends and family that I think about God and think toward God all day long. Those things count. But there is a felt loss around the absence of quality time, listening time, learning time with God. I feel I am missing out on Him, but more painfully, I feel guilty. Where are the lines, here? When is it OK to accept grace and let yourself off the hook because the cat is vomiting a dirty diaper, the air conditioner broke, and you're doing the work of two people? When do I need to use better boundaries and priorities and say "Enough is enough. God comes first and I don't care if the roof falls in, I'm talking to Him right now."

The Lord is loving and merciful, slow to become angry and full of constant love. Psalms 145:8

I've come to rest in a place where I know God loves me even when I'm not doing a quiet time. At all. I don't always go to church, I don't pray every single day, I seldom read my Bible for the purpose of meeting with Him. Yet I have peace, that because of His grace, he gets it. He knows my human limitations and forgives me everyday when I ask. He meets me where I am and speaks to me in ways I can hear in the midst of the busyness. He does not let me forget my sin. Regularly, he reminds me to check my intentions. Do I really not have enough time today or am I avoiding Him? He hears my heart, and my ache to be closer to Him. I believe that's all He wants. Our hearts. Hopefully our hearts being in love with Him would lead to spiritual disciplines being lived out. When it doens't mean that, He is graceful to offer his covering over where we fall short. Whether its not enough time, energy, motivation, focus, desire, or direction that you struggle with, check your sin, respond, and remember he's no less adoring of you.

What a relief, because in this moment, I don't have time for God.

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

Finding Health Through the Holidays

2010-12-02T10:30:00.005-06:00

We look forward to the holidays all year long. Yet, when the time comes, they are often met with some resistance, particularly in regard to facing family members. This is especially true when there is a complicating situation, such as grief, infertility, divorce, or depression. Without suggesting one can conquer the holiday season with a list of coping To Do's, here are a few ideas about coping with these particular situations.

For all Families

Make a holiday budget and stick to it. Money is a major stressor for many and one of the most common topics of conflict in marriage. The holiday season has been shaped by our "If I want it I should have it" culture and its is wise to catch yourself becoming too focused on the material aspect of Christmas. It is Christ we're celebrating!

Watch your eating habits. I believe everyone should benefit from the wide array of food choices available this time of year. But it doesn't take much to overeat or emotional eat. Challenge your motives when making food choices and allow yourself treats within healthy proportions.

Much of the problem-specific advice below can be used by all:

Grief
Its difficult to work through the loss of someone or something when not everyone around you is doing the same. However, it is not helpful to hide your feelings or force yourself to get over it. You are not expected to be cheerful and easy going. If you're sad, be sad, if you're angry, be angry, if you're happy be happy. Don't hesitate to ask for help. Even little things can feel too big to tackle when you're coping with loss. Allow others to do things for you, it relieves you and blesses them when they are able to make a difference in your life. Keep things the same or make them different. You may want to keep all your habits and traditions the same as they have always been, as a way of honoring the person you lost, or you may want to change them completely, knowing they will not be the same without that person. Take your time coping with the loss. Now is not the time to begin sorting through belongings or pushing through loss related tasks that feel overwhelming.

Infertility
The holidays and family gatherings are times that may remind you of what want but do not yet have. Hopefully being around family is a time of healing and support, unfortunately for many, it is not. When being with family is not helpful you may consider not going. This might be a good year to do Christmas differently and take a vacation to the beach. Even without leaving on a trip, it is OK to not attend the usual and expected functions. If you decide to participate, go into the event with a plan regarding what you will tell family and what you won't. There is nothing wrong with declining to answer or changing the subject. Craft a response to questions that makes you feel comfortable and be ready to let it fly. Lastly, don't feel it is rude to decline to hold babies, if it causes you to feel upset. If it is helpful, however, hoard those babies!

Divorce
Getting divorced will surely cause a person to re-evaluate his or her priorities. Rather than waiting till mid-December to decide how to handle the holidays, be proactive and re-evaluate now. This might be a good year to simplify the holiday festivities. At the very least, practice being flexible as the family learns about the reality of being divorced and how each person will manage it. Do not feel it necessary to set a precedence, out of fear that if it isn't the way you want it this year, it never will be. Divorced families are constantly changing as parents remarry, have more children, children leave home, and sometimes there are more divorces. Divorce hurts children most of all. This holiday season, talk with your kids about how your family has changed and support them in the specific ways each child needs. Create new traditions that are fun and provide the kids (and you) with a sense of control in the new circumstances.

Depression
There are some essential self-care measures that are important to keep in place if you are feeling depressed. These basic things include eating a proper portions of healthy foods (even if you don't feel hungry), maintaining a healthy sleep schedule, regular exercise, medication compliance (when meds are necessary), and keeping a daily routine. Because the winter months cause many people to feel down, you may also consider light therapy (using a full-spectrum light), vitamins, and supplements. A doctor can help you choose vitamins and supplements that are best for you. The Christmas season provides many opportunities to help others. When possible, make an effort to contribute to charity organizations or events, surprise someone with a gift, offer favors, or other things you would enjoy. Getting the focus off yourself and making someone's day brighter can do wonders for our mood. Limit alcohol use. It may be tempting to use alcohol to deaden anxiety or depression, but since alcohol is a depressant, it is more harmful than helpful. Lastly, check your expectations and make sure they are realistic.

Most of all, remember the reason for the season. It is Christ's sacrifice for our lives, that is cause for this fun time of year. Focus on relationships with God and with others. You will likely find it makes the holidays more enjoyable and more fulfilling.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Apps for Mental Health

2010-06-23T14:38:00.003-05:00

I tried to find some of these on my iphone and could not locate them. But the concept is a great one! I will keep checking to see if any come up in my app searches, I would love to use it even if I'm not depressed.

Mental Health Apps: Like A 'Therapist In Your Pocket'
by Michelle Trudeau

May 24, 2010

As the computing power of cell phones increases, more and more sophisticated mobile apps are being developed for the mental health field. They're seen as a way to bridge periodic therapy sessions — a sort of 24-7 mobile therapist that can help with everything from quitting smoking to treating anxiety to detecting relapses in psychotic disorders.

These mobile technologies let users track their moods and experiences, providing a supplemental tool for psychiatrists and psychologists.

"It gives me an additional source of rich information of what the patient's life is like between sessions," says University of Pennsylvania researcher Dimitri Perivoliotis, who treats patients with schizophrenia. "It's almost like an electronic therapist, in a way, or a therapist in your pocket."

Here's how one of the apps, called "Mobile Therapy," works: Throughout the day at random times, a "mood map" pops up on a user's cell phone screen. "People drag a little red dot around that screen with their finger to indicate their current mood," says Dr. Margaret Morris, a clinical psychologist working at Intel Corp. and the app's designer. Users also can chart their energy levels, sleep patterns, activities, foods eaten and more, she says.

Gaining New Insights And Reducing Stress

Morris designed the app, which can be downloaded onto most cell phones, to try to help people manage the stress of everyday life, to improve their mental health and reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease.

Based on the information entered by the user, the app offers "therapeutic exercises" ranging from "breathing visualizations to progressive muscle relaxation" to useful ways to disengage from a stressful situation, Morris says. And the information the app captures can later be charted, printed out and reviewed. The idea is that users can look at a whole week of mood data to see if there are any connections between their mood and other factors happening in their lives, and record it into the app.

Morris' Mobile Therapy app has been beta-tested in 60 people, and "everyone who used it described new insights about their emotional variability" and said it helped reduce their stress, she says.

Her research was recently published in the Journal of Medical Internet Research, where she writes that by using the app, participants were able to increase "self-awareness in moments of stress, develop insights about their emotional patterns and practice new strategies for modulating stress reactions."

Helping Teens With Behavioral 'Homework'

Another mobile app being developed targets a large group of cell phone users: teenagers.

Alan Delahunty, a psychotherapist from Galway, Ireland, treats teens suffering from clinical depression using cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT. An essential component of CBT is "homework," which involves patients keeping a daily diary, charting their moods, energy levels, sleep, activities, etc.

Typically, patients will bring their paper charts into their therapist to discuss them during their weekly therapy session. But many patients — especially teens — balk at doing the CBT homework, and many stop doing it.

Previous research suggests that patients who do their CBT homework assignments and practice them between sessions are the ones who benefit the most and benefit the most quickly.

Knowing this, researchers Gavin Doherty and Mark Matthews at Trinity College in Dublin developed a cell phone app that's being tested by a couple of dozen therapists throughout Ireland.

Delahunty, one of the testers of the "mobile mood diary," says it's a very useful tool.

"From a clinical point of view, I've found it a huge improvement over the pen-and-paper technique," Delahunty says. He adds that his young patients love the app and rarely miss doing their daily homework. They're pleasantly surprised that they can use their cell phones to help themselves in therapy. And when they come into therapy, he says, "You get a complete printout of their mood, their energy level, their sleep patterns, and any comments they've made over the week or two. And then you can put that down on the table in front of you, and use it to discuss the therapy with the young person."

Because teens are so comfortable with texting, Delahunty adds, "I'm getting more comments. And in some cases, it's really like narrative therapy, where you'd be getting a paragraph of text for each day, which brings out a richness in the therapy situation that you can explore then."

Psychiatrists, too, find the mobile mood diary a benefit by looking at the graphs, monitoring the young person's moods. "That was helpful to them, in deciding whether the young person should be on medication or change their dosage or whatever because it [the mobile mood diary] was a very accurate measurement of how the young person's mood was moving," Delahunty says.

Apps For Severe Depression, Schizophrenia

Another mental health app under development, called CBT MobilWork, is tailored to adults with severe depression.

It's a collaboration between Judy Callan, a researcher at the University of Pittsburgh, and computer scientists at Carnegie Mellon University that Callan hopes to adapt for use in mental health programs for anxiety, phobias, eating disorders and more.

Callan describes how a typical patient might use this app, which tailors CBT homework to each user: "Say a patient just starts therapy and they're really depressed and they can hardly get out of bed. One of their homework assignments might be to, each day, just make your bed," Callan says.

Once the patient has successfully accomplished that task, the homework on the phone app will change, prompting and coaching the patient to take the next step.

There's also an app for one of the most intractable mental disorders: schizophrenia, which affects 1 percent of the U.S. population. It's for these patients that the University of Pennsylvania's Perivoliotis is developing innovative mobile technologies: palm-sized computers that chart a patient's moods and activities, for example; and a digital watch that has personalized scrolling messages. The messages on the watch can instruct a patient who hears voices, for example, to do exercises like deep breathing or muscle relaxation "to reduce the stress triggered by their voices," he says.

"One of our patients came in with chronic, constant auditory hallucinations that really controlled his life," Perivoliotis recalls. "The voices would threaten him that if he would go outside and do fun things, then terrible, catastrophic things would happen to him. He felt really enslaved by them. He felt no sense of control whatsoever."

So the therapist taught the patient a few simple behavioral exercises to reduce the severity of the voices. It's an exercise called the "look, point and name technique," Perivoliotis explains. "When a patient starts to hear voices, he applies the technique by looking at an object in the room, pointing to it and naming it aloud. He repeats this until he runs out of things to name."

Perivoliotis says "the technique usually results in reduced voice severity [i.e., the voices seem quieter or pause altogether], probably because the patient's attention is redirected away from them and because speaking competes with a brain mechanism involved in auditory hallucinations."

So the mobile therapy watch that this patient wore was programmed to remind him a few times a day to practice this technique to control the voices.

"It really did the trick," Perivoliotis says. The voices were dramatically reduced. "It kind of broke him out of the stream of voices and his internal preoccupation with them."

Exercises like these not only give the patient temporary relief from distressing symptoms but also, importantly, "they help to correct patients' inaccurate and dysfunctional beliefs about their symptoms — from, 'I have no control over the voices,' to, 'I do have some control over them,' " Perivoliotis says.

What is Life Coaching?

2010-04-21T11:43:00.000-05:00

Life Coaching is a profession that is profoundly different from consulting, mentoring, advice, therapy, or counseling. The coaching process addresses specific personal projects, business successes, general circumstances and transitions in the client's personal life or profession by examining what is going on right now, discovering what obstacles or challenges might exist, and choosing a course of action to make your life what you want it to be.

Effective solution focused coaching supports people to focus on what they want and find creative ways move forward. Yet, many of us are focusing on what we don't want. Think about how often you spend time worrying, scared, stressed, etc. Most likely you are focusing on what you don't want to happen or what you don't like about something or someone. A credentialed life coach will NOT try to 'fix' you. She or he will empower you, through questions, to discover, learn, grow and create more of what you want.

The following are areas in which coaching can help:

•Relationships and Intimacy
•Stress Management and Balance
•Spirituality and Personal Growth
•Entrepreneurial and Small Business Development
•Career Planning and Development
•Motivation and Time Management
•Creativity for Artists, Writers, Musicians and Performers
•Finances and Budgeting
•Health, Aging, Lifestyle and Self-Care
•Family and Parenting
•And much more

Here are five questions to ask yourself to see if coaching might benefit you:

1. Is there some area of my life that could benefit from a change or a shift?
2. Am I ready for something more in my life (i.e. more abundance, more prosperity, more satisfaction, etc.)?
3. How committed am I to improving myself and my life?
4. What might I let go of to really make room for what I want?
5. How might my own improvement benefit others in my life?

If you answered yes to the 1st two questions and allowed yourself to ponder the last 3 questions...you may want to explore coaching.

HUMILITY

2010-03-01T15:52:00.003-06:00

Its been a while since I've updated this blog, but I'm back in business. At least for the moment :)

Recently, I've been confronted with many of my own faults and it was proposed to me that the underlying element of all sin is pride. Seeing much wisdom in this argument, but doubting something so simple could be true, I began seeking out books on the subject. My old friend, Amazon.com, told me about a book called Humility: The Beauty of Holiness by Andrew Murray.

Only two chapters in, I agree with the Amazon reviewer who wrote, "Deep truths on every page-bring your highlighter! I plan to re-read it every year." What an honest and convicting piece of literature. I too, can see the need to be regularly reminded of my sinful pride and disregard for Christ's sacrifice for me.

From Humility:
"Let him consider how all want of love, all indifference to the needs, the feelings, the weakness of others; all sharp and hasty judgments and utterances, so often excused under the plea of being outright honest; all manifestations of temper and touchiness and irritation; all feelings of bitterness and estrangement, have their root in nothing but pride, that ever seeks itself, and his eyes will be opened to see how dark, shall I not say a devilish pride, creeps in almost everywhere, the assemblies of the saints not excepted."

Again, I have not yet finished this book, but it won't take me long to whip through its 89 pages. I suspect I will immediately re-read it to glean another layer of its content before I lose memory of the first.

Jennifer

Rob Bell

2009-09-28T15:54:00.003-05:00

I want to introduce you to a very talented man from Mars Hill Bible Church, named Rob Bell. Rob founded Mars Hill, a very successful church in Seattle WA, in 1999 and continues to be one of their pastors. (http://www.marshill.org/) Rob Bell is well know for his books Velvet Elvis, Sex God, and Jesus Wants to Save Christians. He is also known for his work with Nooma.com, which is what I would like to make you aware of today.

At http://www.nooma.com/, you may view trailers and purhcase 24 short films (about 10 minutes), each with a strong spiritual message that resonates like nothing else you've experienced in only 10 minutes. Rob Bell is, in my opinion, a very talented speaker. He looks into the camera and right into your soul, he touches the part of you that most needs touching.

As I mentioned there are trailers on nooma.com, in addition, YouTube.com offers several of these short films to give you a taste of their power. Check them out for yourself, for your church or for your family. We used them as teaching tools with our youth group and found them captivating and effective, especially to those newly growing in their faith.

I am also happy to give a little plug for Rob's books, particularly Velvet Elvis. Rob's way of looking at Christianity is so refreshing, biblical, powerful, and freeing. Your time will be well spent reading his thoughts.

Enjoy!

Making Marriage Work

2009-08-28T13:26:00.002-05:00

I highly recommend this book for any married or want-to-be married person and all mental health professionals. It is practical, insightful, and scientifically proven. I love that Gottman has done enough research to give a step by step approach to making marriage work. Not many things in life can be mastered using a recipe, and marriage is no exception. But it sure helps! Read this review for more information about John Gottman's approach.

Reviewed by Loren SteinCONSUMER HEALTH INTERACTIVE
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
By John Gottman, Nan SilverThree Rivers PressPaperback 288 pp $12.95

As many people know all too well, marriage is a risky business -- the immutable 50 percent divorce rate attests to that. What's more, creating a happy marriage is a deeply mysterious process. How do you merge two distinct individuals into a thriving partnership? How do you survive the inevitable crises that accompany that journey? "A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day," says French writer Andri Maurois. Actress Mae West, on the other hand, put it this way: "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution."
John Gottman, PhD, currently the reigning dean of marital experts, would no doubt side with Maurois. In his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, he offers an innovative strategy for strengthening good marriages and repairing troubled ones. A professor of psychology at the University of Washington and founder of the Gottman Institute, Gottman is best known for his cutting-edge research on marriage conducted in his Family Research Laboratory -- nicknamed the Love Lab. (His wife, Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, is cofounder and director of the institute.)

Using a video camera and sensors that monitor body sensations, Gottman has spent more than two decades studying in painstaking detail the emotions, behaviors, interactions, and physical responses of some 700 couples. He has tracked these brave volunteers from all stages of married life for up to 14 years. What sets Gottman apart from other marriage gurus is his decision to study the dynamics of happy marriages, because he believes these couples are the true experts.

Gottman's output is prodigious. A practicing therapist, workshop leader, and research scientist, he has co-authored 40 books and close to two hundred articles on marriage and parenting, starting with his 1979 manual, A Couple's Guide to Communication. The results of Gottman's long-term research form the conclusions of Seven Principles, an insightful, practical, and often surprising guide to navigating the rocky shoals of married life.

Gottman begins the book with a bold and unsettling assertion: He can predict in five minutes -- with 91 percent accuracy -- whether a couple will eventually divorce. How can he do this? Years of observing the healthy and unhealthy ways couples argue. Specifically, he watches out for certain corrosive interactions that, left unchecked, will kill a relationship. He calls these the "Four Horsemen": criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

The author offers up some other startling findings: Communication, and more specifically, conflict resolution, is not the key to a happy marriage. Anger is not necessarily destructive; couples in good marriages also argue and fight. Traditional marriage therapies, including active listening, where spouses mirror back each other's feelings, are often ineffective and for the most part useless, he says. Affairs are not the cause for most breakups. And men and women do not have different needs in marriage. Indeed, what is most important to both sexes, Gottman says, is the quality of the couple's friendship.

"At the heart of my program is the simple truth that happy marriages are based on a deep friendship," he writes. "By this I mean a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other's company. These couples tend to know each other intimately; they are well-versed in each other's likes, dislikes, personality quirks, hopes, and dreams. They have an abiding regard for each other and express this fondness not just in the big ways but in the little ways, day in and day out."

Gottman's research found that the positive emotional climate created through countless mundane and loving interactions helps protect couples from sliding into overwhelming negativity when times get tough. A positive equilibrium or "set point" is created that makes it harder for couples to lose their way. As a result, happily married couples relate to each other during disputes very differently than unhappy couples.

Interestingly, one important indication of a strong friendship -- and a healthy marriage -- is the willingness of spouses to accept each other's "repair attempts" during fights: small peace offerings that prevent arguments from spiraling out of control. Anger and conflict is a given, Gottman says; what counts most is whether the repairs are successful.

Another useful insight is that men have less physiological capacity for conflict than their wives; they are more easily overwhelmed by marital stress and find it harder to recover afterwards. Also, beware of "harsh startups," Gottman says. Typically, it is the wife who brings up a sticky marital issue. If she makes the mistake of criticizing or attacking her husband right out of the gate, the damage to the conversation is usually irreparable.

Gottman describes young newlyweds Dara and Oliver, who argue over how to more fairly divide housework. Dara dives into the discussion with criticism and accusations: Oliver doesn't help out, and knowing him, he never will. Although she talks in a quiet voice, her words are loaded: The problem isn't the behavior, it's him. Oliver tries a repair attempt by cracking a joke; Dara sits stonily. He offers suggestions, but Dara counters with blame and sarcasm -- a form of contempt, Gottman says -- and Oliver becomes even more defensive. Gottman watched the couple argue for several minutes, and it came as no surprise to him that four years later they were ready to divorce.

"Discussions invariably end up on the same note they begin," writes Gottman. When a spouse's negativity becomes overwhelming or unrelenting, the reaction is "flooding" in his or her mate -- a pounding heart and other physical signs of distress -- leading to emotional shutdown and distancing. Repeated harsh startups and flooding are precursors to marital disaster, he says.
The premise of Gottman's book is that happy marriages share seven unmistakable traits (hence the title), and that unhappy couples fall short in at least one, if not more, of these areas. For example, in "emotionally intelligent" marriages, couples work together and appreciate the best in each other. They have a deep understanding of each other's psyches and worlds. Men share power and accept the influence of their wives. And couples learn to cope with two kinds of problems that are part and parcel of every marriage: solvable conflicts and the perpetual problems, fueled by hidden issues, that can cause emotional gridlock. Unsolvable problems represent 69 percent of marital conflicts, Gottman says.

Trying to change your partner's mind is ultimately a waste of time, says Gottman; instead, explore, accept, and even honor each other's personal dreams and fundamental differences. In the strongest marriages, couples move on from pointless quarreling and do the real work of building a deep sense of shared meaning and purpose into their lives together.

Using in-depth quizzes and exercises, the book helps readers detect the weak spots in their marriage that need attention. Gottman also illustrates and breathes life into his ideas through the use of couples' profiles and passages of their dialogue captured on videotape.

When Katherine and Jeff sat down in Gottman's Love Lab to try to discuss whether to have their baby baptized, the couple was clearly deadlocked and their marriage in serious danger. As an agnostic, Jeff did not want his baby to be baptized or to have any formal religious instruction. It came as a shock to him when Katherine's Catholicism became more central to her after she became pregnant. After sharing what religion symbolized to each of them, its place in their personal history, and their hidden dreams for their child, anger was replaced with compassion. They were then able to talk about how to raise their child in a way that respected both their visions.

The book's strengths far outweigh its weaknesses. One might argue, however, that Gottman's research on marriage is not exactly science. Can a formula really be devised that assures marital bliss? Also, the use of "seven" in the title unfortunately smacks of a tried-and-true marketing ploy -- no self-help book these days seems to sell without a number in the title (witness the similarly titled Relationship Rescue: A Seven-Step Strategy for Reconnecting With Your Partner by Phillip C. McGraw, Hyperion).

Seven Principles gives readers the opportunity to learn life-altering lessons from a master therapist and researcher who has devoted his life's work to revealing the secrets of couples who have created loving, fulfilling, and long-lasting marriages. Even Mae West, if she were game, might learn a thing or two.

-- Loren Stein is a freelance writer in Palo Alto, California specializing in health and legal issues and a regular contributor to Consumer Health Interactive. She has written for WebMD, Hippocrates, and the Christian Science Monitor, among other publications.

Fundraiser Benefitting Mental Health

2009-07-01T20:39:00.003-05:00

Mental Health America of Eastern Missouri

1905 S. Grand● St. Louis, MO 63104 ● 314-773-1399 ● info@mhaem.org

Spirit of St. Louis Dinner – This black tie gala is the Association’s largest fundraiser. It's a glamorous, yet fun-filled evening in early winter at a beautiful location, with cocktails, dinner, dancing and an awesome auction. The Association’s highest honors, the Silver Bell and Silver Key Awards, are presented to deserving individuals and corporations.

The 26th Annual Spirit of St. Louis Dinner, the Snow Ball, will be held on Friday, Dec. 4, 2009 at the St. Louis Hilton at the Ballpark. The Snowball includes a live and silent auction, as well as music and dancing.

Movie Review-Fireproof

2009-06-26T13:13:00.001-05:00

Fireproof
By Hannah Goodwyn CBN.com Producer

CBN.com - Hollywood isn’t known for its portrayal of what love is supposed to be like – selfless, honest, and faithful. Often, films are wrought with adultery, abuse, and easy divorces. That’s what makes Fireproof, a new drama from the Kendrick brothers, so unique.
Alex and Stephen Kendrick, along with countless volunteers from Sherwood Baptist Church in Georgia, have done it again. Following Facing the Giants’ surprising box office success, the Kendrick team is using film to tackle a prominent cultural issue – marriages on the brink of divorce.

The Movie in a Minute or Less
Capt. Caleb Holt (Kirk Cameron) knows how to manage a crisis. Everyday, he directs a team of brave firefighters as they answer calls for help. At the same time, he doesn’t realize the danger his own marriage is facing. In a desperate attempt to win back his wife Catherine (Erin Bethea), Caleb goes to his father for some veteran advice. Seeking a quick way to fix his marriage, Caleb slowly learns how to love.

The Moral of the Story (spoiler alert!)
As far as ministry tools go, this new movie is one of the best at showing what God intends for marriage. Singles and married couples alike will witness the reconciliation of two broken people and how God can heal even the most damaged of relationships.
At first, Caleb is ready to give up on his wife and move on. Their relationship has deteriorated over time and he isn’t too keen on working to save it. That’s when this story really begins to unfold.
You’ve got a husband who doesn’t feel validated at home and a wife who feels unappreciated and unloved. Sound familiar? It’s a simple storyline, but the plot starts to thicken as Caleb tries to recapture his wife’s heart. Through the wisdom of his father and a 40-day experiment called “The Love Dare,” Caleb begins to realize the meaning of love.
True love isn’t what’s best for me; it is seeking what’s best for you. To have a good marriage, you must first understand how to love someone and that comes from the source of unconditional love – God. That’s the point of this story.
Along his spiritual journey, Caleb also confronts his addiction to pornography, an issue often ignored in Christian culture. In fact, the storyline centers on this addiction as part of the conflict between Caleb and Catherine. As is true in reality, he must avoid these images that cause him to lust if he’s going to regain her respect.
One qualm with the story is the lack of response to Catherine’s actions. During the semi-separation phase of their marriage, she enjoys the affection and attention given to her by another man. Her willingness to commit this emotional affair isn’t adequately addressed in the movie. Although some would agree that her actions are wrong, this “adultery with the eyes” should have been dealt with better in the script.

But, Is It a Good Movie?
Fireproof is a step up from Sherwood Pictures’ last release, Facing the Giants. So, if you liked that one, you’ll love this new one. The acting is better. The story is better. The execution (cinematography, direction, editing, etc.) is much better.
Actor Kirk Cameron, best known for his role on the hit TV show Growing Pains, brings the character of Caleb to life on screen. It’s a good performance and he adds solid emotion to each scene. Just one question: Where’s Kirk’s accent? It’s understandable that everyone would have a southern accent, but Kirk (who’s from California) seems to be missing his. (Movie Trivia Side Note: Cameron did not accept money for this project. He too was a volunteer.)
On a strictly entertainment critiquing level, the acting in Fireproof is less than stellar in a few cases, which is somewhat expected since the entire cast is basically volunteers from the church. However, Caleb’s friend Lt. Michael Simmons (Ken Bevel) shows his acting talent well. His humor and sincere emotion helped to make the movie memorable. A few secondary characters (specifically Caleb’s neighbor and fellow firefighters) also brought great comedic relief to the film.

To Buy a Ticket or Not to Buy a Ticket?
Is it worth 10 bucks? Normally, I would say no. Based on the entertainment quality of the film, it doesn’t meet my very high standard of what a movie should be if they expect me to pay 10 dollars to see it. However, I am making an exception in this movie’s case. Its inspirational and powerful message outweighs its minor weaknesses.
All in all, this is a great movie. It’s not even close to being Oscar-worthy, but this little film will touch the hearts of men and women unlike the usual big box office hits. My eyes weren’t dry by the end of the movie, and I seem to remember seeing some guys in the theater wipe one or two tears away as well.

This is one movie critic who highly recommends everyone see Fireproof. Marrieds may learn valuable lessons from it, as all the singles out there will too. Also, kids will enjoy it and understand a little something about love and God’s part in our lives.

Eating Disorder Checklist

2009-06-19T13:08:00.004-05:00

Many individuals are aware in themselves or see in others, seemingly strange behaviors or thoughts related to food and body, but are unsure if these behaviors indicate a problem or harmless quirks. Below is a checklist which assists in determining the likelihood one suffers from an eating disorder.

Eating Disorders Checklist
Checklist for symptoms of eating disorders, please answer
YES or NO
Do you feel society pressures you to be thin?
Do you feel you must be thin to be OK?
Are you preoccupied with food?
Do you feel guilty about eating?
Do you feel the need to be superior and perfect in academics, athletics and weight control?
Do you feel your weight is one of the few aspects of your life which you can control?
Do you diet excessively and/or abuse laxatives, diet pills or diuretics?
Do you feel you have become isolated from your family and friends?
Do you prefer eating alone?
Do you count all the calories hidden in every bite you eat?
Do you ever consume large amounts of food in a frenzy of hunger?
Do you ever induce vomiting after eating, particularly after a binge?
Do you exercise excessively?
Do you feel fat despite the fact that others tell you that you are thin or OK?
Does your weight fluctuate dramatically?
Have your menstrual periods ceased or become irregular?
Do you have trouble concentrating?
Do you often feel depressed and unhappy with yourself?

If you or someone you know answered "YES" to 5 or more of the above questions then you should check out some of our additional information on eating disorders or get some help.
This checklist is based on the description of eating disorders found in the fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), copyright 1994, American Psychiatric Association.
Authored by Shirley Reierson, MSW, LICSW

Eating Disorders can be a very serious condition and most of the time require professional assistance. They are a "real" disease and should not be minimized or expected to go away in time. The earlier intervention is provided, the easier it will be to resolve the problem.

If you or someone you love is suffering from an eating disorder it may be difficult to seek treatment due to the mixed emotions of the disease. On the one hand, you want to get rid of the eating disorder to find health and happiness, on the other you feel the disease is the only thing you can trust and could not live without it. Know that these types of thoughts are normal and should not prevent you from seeing help. Eating Disorders are most often rooted in self-esteem and identity conflicts and can be improved, if not resolved through therapy and sometimes medication.

I would be happy to answer any questions you have about eating disorders. Call, email, or comment and I will respond as quickly as possible.

Jennifer Morgan M.A., LPC, BCPCC

2009-06-12T13:33:00.002-05:00

Understanding teen depression

There are as many misconceptions about teen depression as there are about teenagers in general. Yes, the teen years are tough, but most teens balance the requisite angst with good friendships, success in school or outside activities, and the development of a strong sense of self. Occasional bad moods or acting out is to be expected, but depression is something different. Depression can destroy the very essence of a teenager’s personality, causing an overwhelming sense of sadness, despair, or anger.Whether the incidence of teen depression is actually increasing, or we’re just becoming more aware of it, the fact is that depression strikes teenagers far more often than most people think. And although depression is highly treatable, experts say only 20% of depressed teens ever receive help.Unlike adults, who have the ability to seek assistance on their own, teenagers usually must rely on parents, teachers, or other caregivers to recognize their suffering and get them the treatment they need. So if you have an adolescent in your life, it’s important to learn what teen depression looks like and what to do if you spot the warning signs.

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION IN TEENS
Sadness or hopelessness
Irritability, anger, or hostility
Tearfulness or frequent crying
Withdrawal from friends and family
Loss of interest in activities
Changes in eating and sleeping habits
Restlessness and agitation
Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
Fatigue or lack of energy
Difficulty concentrating
Thoughts of death or suicide

If you’re unsure if an adolescent in your life is depressed or just “being a teenager,” consider how long the symptoms have been present, how severe they are, and how different the teen is acting from his or her usual self. While some “growing pains” are to be expected as teenagers grapple with the challenges of growing up, dramatic, long-lasting changes in personality, mood, or behavior are red flags of a deeper problem.

The difference between teenage and adult depression
Depression in teens can look very different from depression in adults. The following symptoms of depression are more common in teenagers than in their adult counterparts:
Irritable or angry mood – As noted above, irritability, rather than sadness, is often the predominant mood in depressed teens. A depressed teenager may be grumpy, hostile, easily frustrated, or prone to angry outbursts.
Unexplained aches and pains - Depressed teens frequently complain about physical ailments such as headaches or stomachaches. If a thorough physical exam does not reveal a medical cause, these aches and pains may indicate depression.
Extreme sensitivity to criticism - Depressed teens are plagued by feelings of worthlessness, making them extremely vulnerable to criticism, rejection, and failure. This is a particular problem for “over-achievers.”
Withdrawing from some, but not all people - While adults tend to isolate themselves when depressed, teenagers usually keep up at least some friendships. However, teens with depression may socialize less than before, pull away from their parents, or start hanging out with a different crowd.

Effects of teen depression
The negative effects of teenage depression go far beyond a melancholy mood. Many rebellious and unhealthy behaviors or attitudes in teenagers are actually indications of depression. See the table below for some of the ways in which teens “act out” or “act in” in an attempt to cope with their emotional pain:

Untreated Depression Can Lead to…
Problems at school
Depression can cause low energy and concentration difficulties. At school, this may lead to poor attendance, a drop in grades, or frustration with schoolwork in a formerly good student.
Running away
Many depressed teens run away from home or talk about running away.
Substance abuse
Teens may use alcohol or drugs in an attempt to “self-medicate” their depression.
Low self-esteem
Depression can trigger and intensify feelings of ugliness, shame, failure, and unworthiness.
Eating disorders
Anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, and yo-yo dieting are often signs of unrecognized depression.
Internet addiction
Self-injury-Cutting, burning, and other kinds of self-mutilation are almost always associated with depression.
Reckless behavior-Depressed teens may engage in dangerous or high-risk behaviors, such as reckless driving, out-of-control drinking, and unsafe sex.
Violence
Some depressed teens (usually boys who are the victims of bullying) become violent.
Suicide-Teens who are seriously depressed often think, speak, or make "attention-getting" attempts at suicide. Suicidal thoughts or behaviors should always be taken very seriously.

Suicide warning signs in teenagers
An alarming and increasing number of teenagers attempt and succeed at suicide. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-olds. For the overwhelming majority of suicidal teens, depression or another psychological disorder plays a primary role. In depressed teens who also abuse alcohol or drugs, the risk of suicide is even greater.

Because of the very real danger of suicide, teenagers who are depressed should be watched closely for any signs of suicidal thoughts or behavior.

The warning signs include:
Talking or joking about committing suicide.
Saying things like, “I’d be better off dead,” “I wish I could disappear forever,” or “There’s no way out.”
Speaking positively about death or romanticizing dying (“If I died, people might love me more”).
Writing stories and poems about death, dying, or suicide.
Engaging in reckless behavior or having a lot of accidents resulting in injury.
Giving away prized possessions.
Saying goodbye to friends and family as if for good.
Seeking out weapons, pills, or other ways to kill themselves.
If you suspect that a teenager you know is suicidal, take immediate action! For 24-hour suicide prevention and support, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.

If you suspect that a teenager in your life is suffering from depression, take action right away. Depression is very damaging when left untreated, so don’t wait and hope that the symptoms will go away. Even if you’re unsure that depression is the issue, the troublesome behaviors and emotions you’re seeing in your teenager are signs of a problem. Whether or not that problem turns out to be depression, it still needs to be addressed - the sooner the better.

Talk to your teen
The first thing you should do if you suspect depression is to talk to your teen about it. In a loving and non-judgmental way, share your concerns with your teenager. Let him or her know what specific signs of depression you’ve noticed and why they worry you. Then encourage your child to open up about what he or she is going through.

TIPS FOR TALKING TO A DEPRESSED TEEN
Offer support
Let depressed teenagers know that you’re there for them, fully and unconditionally. Hold back from asking a lot of questions (teenagers don’t like to feel patronized or crowded), but make it clear that you’re ready and willing to provide whatever support they need.
Be gentle but persistent
Don’t give up if your adolescent shuts you out at first. Talking about depression can be very tough for teens. Be respectful of your child’s comfort level while still emphasizing your concern and willingness to listen.
Listen without lecturing
Resist any urge to criticize or pass judgment once your teenager begins to talk. Avoid offering unsolicited advice or ultimatums as well.
Validate feelings
Don’t try to talk teens out of their depression, even if their feelings or concerns appear silly or irrational to you. Simply acknowledge the pain and sadness they are feeling. If you don’t, they will feel like you don’t take their emotions seriously.
If your teen claims nothing is wrong, but has no explanation for what is causing the depressed behavior, you should trust your instincts. Remember that denial is a strong emotion. Furthermore, teenagers may not believe that what they’re experiencing is the result of depression. If you see depression’s warning signs, seek professional help. Neither you nor your teen is qualified to either diagnosis depression or rule it out, so see a doctor or psychologist who can.

Visit your family doctor
Make an immediate appointment for your teen to see the family physician for a depression screening. Be prepared to give your doctor specific information about your teen’s depression symptoms, including how long they’ve been present, how much they’re affecting your child’s daily life, and any patterns you’ve noticed. The doctor should also be told about any close relatives who have ever been diagnosed with depression or another mental health disorder.
As part of the depression screening, the doctor will give your teenager a complete physical exam and take blood samples to check for medical causes of your child’s symptoms. In order to diagnose depression, other possible causes of your teen’s symptoms must first be ruled out. The doctor will check for medical causes of the depression by giving your teenager a complete physical exam and running blood tests. The doctor may also ask your teen about other things that could be causing the symptoms, including heavy alcohol and drug use, a lack of sleep, a poor diet (especially one low in iron), and medications (including birth control pills and diet pills).

Explore the treatment options
Expect a discussion with the health professional you’ve chosen about treatment possibilities for your son or daughter. There are a number of treatment options for depression in teenagers, including one-on-one talk therapy, group or family therapy, and medication.

Talk therapy is often a good initial treatment for mild to moderate cases of depression. Over the course of therapy, your teen’s depression may resolve. If it doesn’t, medication may be warranted. However, antidepressants should only be used as part of a broader treatment plan.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health:
When medication is used, it should not be the only strategy. There are other services that you may want to investigate for your child. Family support services, educational classes, behavior management techniques, as well as family therapy and other approaches should be considered. If medication is prescribed, it should be monitored and evaluated regularly.

Unfortunately, some parents feel pushed into choosing antidepressant medication over other treatments that may be cost-prohibitive or time-intensive. However, unless your child is considered to be high risk for suicide (in which case medication and/or constant observation may be necessary), you have time to carefully weigh your options before committing to any one treatment.

Teenagers on antidepressants should be closely monitored for any sign that the depression is getting worse. Warning signs include new or worsening symptoms of agitation, irritability, or anger. Unusual changes in behavior are also red flags.
According to FDA guidelines, after starting an antidepressant or changing the dose, your teenager should see their doctor:
Once a week for four weeks
Every 2 weeks for the next month
At the end of their 12th week taking the drug
More often if problems or questions arise

Taking care of the whole family
As a parent dealing with teen depression, you may find yourself focusing all your energy and attention on your depressed child. Meanwhile, you may be neglecting your own needs and the needs of other family members. While helping your depressed child should be a top priority, it’s important to keep your whole family strong and healthy during this difficult time.

Adapted from TEEN DEPRESSION by helpguide.org

Change Your Thoughts, Change your LIFE

2009-06-03T18:10:00.002-05:00

Welcome to the first post of Morgan Counseling Minute! As an introductory piece, I have chosen Angela Brittain's Its a Battle for the "High Places." Angela provides the perfect backdrop for Morgan Counseling Services, as my primary way of helping you create change is rooted in changing the way you think.
Please enjoy her articulation and look forward to more posts of all kinds on the Morgan Counseling Minute.
God Bless You

It’s A Battle for the “High Places” by Angela Brittain
You’ve heard the Proverb, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he…” (Prov. 23:7). Well, the devil knows that is true. The enemy knows that where the mind goes, the man follows, and that what you think about, you become!!!! The mind and thoughts of a man are powerful, and that is why the devil fights so hard to get your thoughts to focus on anything but the Word of God.

Paul knew what a tremendous spiritual battle was going on when he wrote in Philippians 4:8, “Think on these things: whatsoever things are pure, lovely, true, …” Yes, it is possible to control your thoughts! Look here at 2 Corinthians 10:4: “The weapons of God are not carnal, but are mighty before God to pull down strongholds. In as much as we refute arguments and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the knowledge of God – we lead every thought and purpose captive into the obedience of Christ.”

What are these verses talking about? Thoughts!! High and lofty things are thoughts…but we have authority in Jesus to pull them down!!!! They must come into the obedience of God’s word!! Let’s go to Ephesians 6:12: “We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, powers, and rulers of darkness of this world and against spiritual wickedness in high places.” I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this is not just referring to heavenly places, but also to our minds. Our thoughts. The “high places” are our minds – where we think and feel. It is a battle for those high places and let me tell you the enemy knows the value of having our thoughts. In fact, big business even knows the value of our thoughts!

It used to be that advertisers just wanted to get their product within physical proximity to you. Coca Cola used to have a goal to get a Coke product within 8 ft. of everyone on the planet. Now they want a certain percent of every individual’s “mind share.” They want a certain portion of your thoughts every day to be about Coca Cola!

Well the enemy wants a certain portion of your thoughts to be about the plans he has for you instead of the plans God has for you. But I am here to tell you that I am not going to give up any of my “mind share” to the enemy. I am not going to share any part of my mind with the devil and neither should you!!! Because when we get into fear and into thinking that God’s not going to do what He says He’s going to do, that’s when we start getting anxious. When we get our eyes off God, we get into trouble because we move into fear and move out of faith.

If we want to change our lives, we’ve got to change the way we think, and it starts with getting rid of the enemy’s words and replacing them with God’s Word!!!! Glory to God!!!